Just Out of Reach
by 6six
Summary: Kisa leaves Yukina without a word or even a hint of where he went or why he left. Yukina desperately tracks him down to find out why.


Yukina Kou was getting tired. But that did not mean that he was going to give up. Oh, no. He was no were near giving up. Not untill he knew why. Why Kisa had left him. No warning, no goodbyes, just a letter telling him not to try to find him. Kisa had disappeared.

That was months ago.

Yukina had totally disregarded the message saying not to go find Kisa. He loved Kisa so much it almost_ hurt. _He loved him so much that he felt like exploding every time he caught Kisa staring at him. He felt that way every time he brushed up against the older man, every time he sent him a text, and especially every time Kisa blushed and made that adorable face that made him want to kiss him to death. Kisa is just so...cute. And he didn't understand what Kisa thought he wasn't capable of love. Yukina had seen him get jealous, he had seen the signs, and even though Kisa said that he loved him for only his face, Yukina had to believe otherwise. Because if that were true, Kisa might be with some other handsome and successful man who was closer to his own age.

_No_, Yukina reminded himself,_ Kisa would never do something like that. He loves me. I know he does, even if he doesn't want to admit that to himself._

But still, there was the doubt. Which made his search all the more deperate. Yukina had hired a private detective the second the shock wore of after he read Kisa's letter. Marukawa wasn't answering any of his questions about Kisa's whereabout's (or letting him into the building for that matter), but he knew that Kisa was still working for them because his books continued to be published with his name as the editor. Kisa's books were like lifeline now. His only connection to the one he yearned to be with.

His only lead in finding Kisa.

He still had to go to work and school, but when he wasn't doing that, he was making phone calls, doing web searches, and checking up with Detective Morgan. Anything in his power to find his cute, little uke.

Sighing, he closed his laptop. No news. Just like every other day he came home to no news and an empty apartment. Yukina knew that he couldn't get much done if he didn't at least sleep a little, but if he slept too long and missed something, he would never forgive himself.

Yukina was asleep before his head even hit the pillow.

His phone was ringing. The sky was still dark, so it was too early for anybody to call him unless...

Yukina gasped a threw himself out of bed and to his phone. It took him a couple of seconds to steady his shaking fingers enough to answer.

"Detective Morgan? Have you found anything?" Yukina excidedly asked.

He could hear the smile on the womans mouth, "Well hello to you, too."

"Well," he demanded impatiently, "Have you?"

"Oh, come on. Are you sure you still want this stick in the boyfriend of yours that, I don't mean to remind you, left your side without so much as a hug? After all with your looks, you get far more attractive young women in your bed...like me."

Yukina growled. The woman had become increasingly persistent in getting him to forget about Kisa (as if he could). It was totally unprofessional behavior. But she was cheep and came well recommended. It wasn't as if he could afford much better on his salary.

"One, Kisa is the cutest person I've ever met. Two, I love him. Three...I _need_ Kisa if I ever want to feel complete ever again. He's mine and I'm his. And I wouldn't have it any other way."

"So, let me repeat myself. Have you found anything regarding Kisa?" She must have heard the danger in his voice because after a tense moment, she answered.

"Yes. I've tracked him down to his new apartment."

Tears formed in Yukina's eyes and his heart filled with hope and renewed energy. He was so close.

"Really! Where is he? How soon can I get there? Is there a-"

Morgan cut him off, "He's living with another man."

Yukina quieted instantly.

Silence.

Shock.

Anger.

His feelings of hope was replaced with jealousy and anger. Yukina couldn't think straight.

Who was this new man Kisa was_ living_ with? Had Kisa been cheating on him? Had he just been a toy to be disposed of after he had stopped been amusing?

Now was the time to learn the truth more than ever.

Taking a deep breath he attempted to calm himself.

"Who is he living with?" Yukina said quietly, barely suppressing rage.

Magan snorted, obviously not caring anymore after she had gotten both paid and rejected, "I don't know. It's my job to find Kisa, not who he's living with. My job is gone. I can tell you where he is, but who he's with is going to cost you. And I _know_ you don't have the cash for that."

Yukina was going crazy. If he didn't find a way to express his emotional roller-coaster he was going to do something he was going to regret.

He sprinted up the stairs of the apartment building, and stomped over to the door. It was only after he knocked (well, pounded) on the door, that he realized that he didn't have an actual plan.

And then the door opened.

Yukina's breath was swept away when he caught sight of his love for the first time in what seemed like forever.

_He looks even cuter than I remember! No! You can't think that, you're mad at him remember?_

But that still didn't stop Yukina from capturing Kisa's lips.

Kisa's eyes were wide, and he was obviously confused to see the ex-boyfriend at the apartment he had moved too, to get _away _from.

Yukina broke the kiss and grabbed Kisa at the shoulders.

"Y-yukina? What are you doing here? You look awful! When's the last time you ate?"

"You did this to me. Why did you do it? Why did you leave me? I love you Kisa. Do you have any idea how much I've missed you." he demanded.

"I don't love you! I don't think we should continue seeing each other if this is how I feel."

Yukina was somewhere between yelling and hugging Kisa. It hurt every time he heard Kisa say that. "But if you can't say that to my face than how can I be sure that is how you really feel? I hurt me so much more to come home and find you gone forever than to have you say we were over. Because if you had said that and I believed you, I would know that it was true. But if you just leave out of the blue then that could mean anything could have happened!"

"And then I find out that you're living with another man! Where you cheating on me all this time? Is that one of the reasons we couldn't be together very often? I trusted you, Kisa! I trusted you with my heart and you threw it away!" Yukina had long since gone into hysterics.

Kisa's eyes widened and he tried to find the words to argue, to tell the truth.

His prince was crying. "Well, if you're not going to tell me than I guess I just have to assume that what I said was true. You had cheated on me." Yukina turned away.

"Wait! That's not true" Kisa grabbed him by the wrist, and judging by his expression, he had not planned that.

Yukina turned. "What's not true?"

"I-I wasn't cheating on you." Kisa looked embarressed.

"Well then why are you living with another man? Why did you leave me?"

Kisa blinked, "How do you know about Ryo?"

"Oh, so that's his name. Ryo." Yukina said the name with such a spite filled tone, Kisa almost flinched. "So, who is this _Ryo_ and how do you know him if you weren't cheating on me?"

"Because he's my _brother_! I think have the right to live my brother without being accused of dating him! That's so unappealing I don't even have words to describe it." Kisa made a face.

Yukina paused. "He's your...brother. I didn't know you had a brother."

"Well...half brother. I don't usually talk about people in my family because most have rejected me for being gay. It hurts too much." Kisa shifted uncomfortably."

"That still doesn't explain why you left me." Kisa didn't answer. "Kisa! Why did you leave me!"

The thirty year old wouldn't meet Yukina's eyes. "Because I don't love you."

"Kisa. If you didn't love me, then you would have been able to tell me." The prince gently cupped the shorter man's chin and moved it untill their eyes met. "Now why did you really leave me?"

Kisa's lips trembled.

"Kisa, why-"

"Stop saying my name so many times!" The man yelled, feeling pressured.

Yukina smiled, back to his usual princely self. Their lips briefly met, Yukina's hands still cupping Kisa's face. "But I like your name, Kisa. It's cute, like you." Kisa blushed harder than he had ever blushed before. "Kisa," he said again as if savoring it, "Why did you leave me?"

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU TO MUCH!"

Yukina blinked, taken aback. "What?"

Kisa stared at the ground crying a little. "I loved you so much it was like an addiction. I couldn't get enough of you. I wanted to be with you all day every day. Those type of feelings aren't natural! I had to get rid of them by isolating myself. I had to go back to normal."

Yukina laughed.

Kisa's blush deepened. "Shut-up! Stop making fun of me." He pouted, making the adorable face that had provoked their first kiss.

"Oh, Kisa. I'm not making fun of you. You're just too cute! In fact now that I know why this happened, I'm glad it did."

"What do you mean by that? Do you not care anymore?"

Yukina turned serious again. "Of course I care. I will always care for Kisa. But all of this happened because you finally realized that you love me as much as I love you. You ran away because you had never expirienced before. These feelings are totally normal when you're in love."

Kisa rolled his eyes. "So it's normal to feel like I'm burning up. Or to feel like I'm floating because you smile at me?'

Yukina leaned in. "Yes," he breathed.

And they kissed.


End file.
